Okayy. I don’t really know how to put this into words so I’ll just start talking.
I’m Kikiface, some of you may know me, some of you may not. I’m having an anxiety attack as I type this, but the truth of it is—I need help.
By no means does this post mean people HAVE to donate to me, and I’m trying to remind myself of that, but right now my skin feels like it’s on fire. This is hard for me.
Right now, I have no income. I have no idea when that income is coming back. Everyone around me is struggling, and I am sinking. I have worsening anxiety and depression. I’ve spend years of my life fighting admitting that I need and accepting help, but here I am now. 2014 has, by far, been the worst year of my life—which I feel incredibly guilty for saying, because I watched my brother die three and a half years ago. I had a close call this September, and it took the worried and concerned eyes of cruise ship security and my family finding me at 4am, not knowing what I was planning to do.
I can recall a time when I could do twenty commissions in a day and make rent. I could offer commissions, I could do commissions, I could plan a patreon, I could sell my artwork—but right now, I can’t. I can handle everything I have on my plate, but if I take any more, I can break.
I have recently gone to the doctor, and I was referred to a psychiatrist. I’m doing my best to find someone who takes my shit insurance. It’s difficult. And I’m fighting giving up.
If I don’t find a way back unto my feet, we’ll lose our home ((again)) and I’m not sure what I will do. I’m not confident my mom wants to support me. Since we battled a year of Leukemia with my older brother, which ultimately landed us without him, my mom has hated taking care of anyone but herself. I honestly don’t blame her. I feel like a failure not being able to provide her with more. Especially when I know that my skill with art can make me a living, but my mental health keeps me from even wanting to wake up at times. I’ve spent far too long living in my late brother’s shadow, and now everything is coming to a head. You can tell by how I used to post art multiple times a day, and now it has dwindled to pathetic numbers a week. My drive is dying, it’s like a piece of me is dying and it’s really hard for me. Art is all I have.
I’m trying. I’m really trying. And I know this won’t be forever, but right now I need help. If anyone has any words they can attach to this to help my cause, I’d appreciate it, because now I’m choking up and I need to stop typing.
TL;DR: I need help meeting deadlines for rent, bills, food, and help for my crippling mental health for I’m not sure how long.
Donations of $20 USD or more will receive a one time personal thank you note from me, so be sure to attach your name and address if you meet qualifications.
To donate, please click the button in my sidebar.
When you finish donating, if you hit ‘return to donation coordinator’, it will take you to this thank you page.
Signal boosting this post means more to me than you know. And I hope I can find a way to give back to the people who help me in any way.
Thank you for your time.